It’s been Six Fridays !
Six long weeks of doubting, fears, uncertainties, and a host of other “God -why”circumstances.
I’m not 120years old yet neither am I as successful or worthy as Mike Zuckerberg to give a speech, but if I was asked to give a Life achievement speech at Havard Graduation ceremony or some TedX talk;
I would begin by saying – I ALMOST GAVE UP.
I WAS TIRED.
I was Mentally Tired! I was Done in my Mind.
Before now, the only remarkable time I ever heard anyone say NO to me was when I priced one dress in Eko and the brother said “Aunty, Mbanu, e no gree.”
He didn’t even say NO in English.
Coming to serve my sister fatherland changed the narrative.
Now, I’ve had the word NO thrown in my face so much so that YES became a prayer point. A testimony.
A lot of things happened over the past few weeks which got me to a point of withdrawal in my mind. I shouldn’t have let things get soo sad, but I did.
I let EVERYTHING get to me.
At a point , crying became second nature, because after crying in the name of praying, I’d cry on the phone when talking to my mum and some other persons.
There were days I promised myself that I wouldn’t let the situation of things get to me. But whenever I come back from my Job search and the caretaker asks me;
“Bawo ni?( how far ?) ” I would say “Bakan na ni( same same)”
When I look back in retrospect now, I realize that God knew just what He was doing. And so, for this reason, I’d like to Publicly apologize to YOU and to God.
For letting things get so out of control, for throwing a pity party all in the name of telling people how I felt.
I am sorry.
For making God seem like a junior staff who needed permission from his supervisor to bless me. I thought he hadn’t opened my mails yet. I didn’t know he delayed my case file for a reason.
I was wrong.
For not Trusting while waiting.
For not letting God take charge like he said he would.
For setting deadlines for a God that knows no time nor day.😂😂
In all of the events of the past 6 weeks, Jesus through the Holy Spirit taught me a Couple of Lessons.
Do you mind if I share ?
Of course you don’t, you’re still here 😂😂
I was rejected at the two places NYSC posted me to officially and I was told Several NOs at the gates and principal’s desk of several companies and schools I sent myself to respectively.
Lots of Tears and Tfares down the drain all in the name of serving our father land.
I was beginning to get used to the idea of sitting at home whilst other corp members in my compound woke up early to go to work.
At some point, I started to apply for jobs in Lagos, since Ota wasn’t holding any promise.
I was scheduled for an interview in Lagos and I was already meditating on being a ghost Corper ( don’t try this at home Plixxx) before God came through.
God CAME THROUGH and he did so with a BANG!!!!!
Through the course of these events, He taught me a Couple of lessons.
1. God taught me something – He said WAIT.
I waited! Like I literally didn’t see any possibilities of a good place of service. I was just ready to “accept ” anything. I think I am one of those people that don’t know how to sit in one place. I literally can’t sit still unless I’m actually doing something – something beneficial oo. So, waiting, not getting any response from anyone or any where got me worried – I wore worry like a properly applied Mac Foundation on my face and it was a perfect match. I waited for over a month and then I think God saw that I had quit trusting in my strength and peoples’ and had just completely, totally, wholly handed over the whole thing to him.
2. God broke Protocols for me.
He went OUT of my local goverment, out of my space, out of my wildest dreams, to a place I thought I could never have and he served it on a Juicy platter for me. This was a place you only dreamed of and it stayed in your dreams. For a Corps Member, this was Heaven.
3. God said Delay is not Denial.
Anyone who knows how NYSC works knows that staying 3 months without a PPA is as good as extending that service Year. Of all the things to extend?
But He came through when his traffic light hit Green. Till tomorrow, everyone I tell how it happened just looks at me in Awe and I’m like it’s God ooo.
I remember sometime in 2017, someone told me something she heard from God for me and I believe that God and I was stunned and at the same time in disbelief, because I’m like.
Me, small and seemingly uncertain and upandan about everything. Majorly unserious and not consistent.
I basically told myself that God had other people to be this gracious to.
But, believe Me when I tell you that, that word still rings in my spirit everytime He comes through for me.
Want to know what that word is ?