So What, You Don’t Have All The Answers?

Hey you guys, how are we doing? It’s officially the beginning of the second quarter and it is starting on a super interesting level for me because *drum roll*, I’d tell you next week.Β Laughs!!!

Happy New Month!!

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If you read my last post, raise your hand *raises hands*.

Today’s post is a follow-up to our conversation so you would need to visit it here to get the big picture. there you will understand this picture

I have noticed something about myself over the past few weeks and it is pretty simple;

Continue reading “So What, You Don’t Have All The Answers?”

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Getting out of Worrylane +4 lessons it taught me

Happppy New Month Y’all!

Guess whose month it is ?????

πŸ₯πŸ₯πŸ₯πŸ₯πŸ₯πŸ₯πŸ₯πŸ₯πŸ₯

πŸŽ‰πŸŽ‰πŸŽ‰πŸŽ‰πŸŽ‰πŸŽ‰πŸŽ‰πŸŽ‰πŸŽ‰πŸŽ‰πŸŽ‰

Yaaass! It’s Mine and ofcourse, every other lovely Creative, super Amazing, grossly Talented, Goal-smashing Individual that was born in this Genius month.
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Last week was just a whole Lottttttt for me. Like seriously, this life is really a pot of beans.
But, thank God, Jesus is the Bread of Life, so let’s continue.

I am super serious and I am not even smiling. All thanks to Nigeria and the idea of NYSC.
I wore worry like my khaki vest and I was indeed very overwhelmed at the littlest thing.

One minute I was happy,  the next, I was looking like bread that swoll up inside ice water
My phone, my bank account, my PPA ( Place of Primary Assignment), accommodation in a strangeland – everything.

What happened? Who did I offend? Which of my village people am I owing N19,800?

Thank God for family and friends who were the daily recipients of my Granny Smith worry game.
You cannor throw me away, I love you too. πŸ˜œπŸ˜—
They helped me get up, literally. Through sense talking and tongue talking prayers, voice notes that sent the devil far far away.

At the end of this phase, I learnt a lot of subtle -oh-so-tiny-but-mighty-influence- lessons.

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Deep Breathes!
Just pause, and let the world go on a few minutes without you, its a mind-blowing experience. And it worked, still works. Take deep breathes to restore sanity and peace of mind to yourself.

Pray!
Because , really, why shouldn’t you?
You have nothing to lose and EVERYTHING to gain when you pray, even the devil knows this, that’s why he brings all forms of distractions. Get on your knees and give him a run for his money. Scream – NEVER AGAIN!! The devil is a LIAR!!!!! Whooooooop Whooooop!
That felt soo good right?

Stop Worrying!
Can you just stop carrying the weight of the world on your head for a minute? Seriously, can you?
Just look at what it is doing to our Leaders and Presidents; wrinkles and contours in all the wrong places. Sing, praise God, dance to some loud praise jamz. That’s your odeshi to that French nonsense the devil calls – worrΓ½

Go Out!
Take Icecream! Go to a fancy restaurant and order what wee not make you wash plate after oo. Smell the fresh air! Take a walk! Wear shorts and palm slippers and a regular tee-shirt because freedom is yours. Own it. This life is too short to give worry any chance to redefine you.
Jump into the Ocean and swim hun, you’d see either God or Fish.

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God's got you

I just thought to share from one sincerely grateful heart to another.

So, now that that’s sorted and out of the way, let’s Dive right into the New Month! πŸŠβ€β™‚οΈ

P.S. Someone is turning a year older tomorrow. For a moment, I almost forgot about my birthday. Food is MY love language, so that’s a clue on what you can get me.😜You know food could also be Ice cream and Chocolate cake.😍😍 Just so we are clear.

After Orientation Course || Hilarious stories from my 5-star Camp ||

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If you have just successfully concluded the 3 – weeks Orientation Camp course at your respective state.
I greet you.

Corpers wee ooo ! N.Y.S.C. – Service and Humility.

Please note,

●I am not greeting those who came to camp and spent all their days in the clinic – not because they were sick or are medical students, but because they were excused from strenous activities.

●Or those chewing gum sisters that will be doing as if their mum only gave them transport money and nothing else.

●I am also not greeting those that dinnor stay in camp for the complete 21 days, for ” health reasons” that is not doing them in real life😑. What concern me, one day, karma is coming for youπŸ˜‚

β™‘ But to the valiant few, the mighty men and women, who stood the white fowl test and got promoted to the 7/7 category.

β™‘ The ones who didn’t redeploy or relocate. The ones who didn’t defer.
β™‘ The ones whose skin color changed and their british accent shaku-shakued out of camp after week 1. πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚
This week, I thought to share a few tales from my 3-weeks orisirisi programme.

Story 1
You know that popular saying of
letting the school pass through you and not just you passing through the school.
I am assured that Ogun state Sagamu Orientation camp passed through me.
Jejely, I came home from camp and the next day, I mistakenly locked myself outside.
My pre-camp reaction would have been to call somebody or security or something. But Post-camp Christy ain’t got time for that. I jumped fence!
I said “On your mark, get set, go” and I touched ground and my knee did shiriririri.
O deshi!
Man-O-War drills ti da nkan sile ( man-o-war drills have done something). If I could scale through all those ones. I can do anything through Christ that strengthens me.
πŸ˜‚πŸ˜£
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Story 2
Did you know that the April/May batch are the Pakororo batch ( the batch that didn’t go to expensive school) – the Boti pikins are coming in July and November (the ones that went to expensive school)
So, for all of you that weren’t mobilized early, y’all lucky. The ones that came this my batch are just fine outside, Orientation camp brought out their real nature.

That’s how one fine girl, with her half-Brazilian hair that she brought to camp with the aim of finding husband, went to collect food in the kitchen with her meal ticket.
Your meal ticket grants you access to a 4-gig portion of food – small, no matter the size of the bucket you bring. Just once, so you can’t come back for more.
Next thing, this fine sister came to one of the photo booths where I was, and get this,
She removed the wig, put on her NYSC cap and took ANOTHER meal ticket to the kitchen to collect another food as per ????😲😲😲😲.
β€Ž I literally died. True to God. I died there.

I was astunned !

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Story 3

One beautiful thursday evening, after I just finished being a Jesus Corper, I thought to myself, you deserve something light thou good and faithful child of God. So I carried my family member to maami market, there was a fine Lagos boy that came to collect our parents hard-earned money, all in the name of Spaghetti and Turkey.
I only bought that thing 4 times throughout camp because 500 naira is not pure water that you wee just be drinking anyhow. 😒

It was the second time I went to buy it and anytime I went there, I used to feel so fulfilled so I ordered for my 1 pack of colouring spaghetti and curvacious turkey that knew its onions with the famous side-chick to any dish – dodo and I was ready to take my leave when I heard a strange voice from my back.

G, gimme 6 packs.

I’m like, come again say what !!!!

See me feeling like I made a difference in the world by buying one pack and a fellow white fowl is ordering 6 packs – then I looked back and it dawned – it was an even distribution of the equator. 3 guys to 3 girls.
But that is not the moral of the story, koko is that 1 person came to spend 3000 naira on Spaghetti for 6 when me I was giving myself pep talk on being prudent and learning to enjoy yourself without feeling guilty.

Iss only 1 pack I bought and this one is coming to buy 6.πŸ˜’
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Story 4

I had the intention of joining the march-past.

General Sallluuuttteee ! SALUTE
Remove Head rest
Preyyy shuuunnn
Hip hip hip hurrayyy!

But, the spirit is willing and the flesh is weak. I fell sick most of the second week and so I gave myself excise certificate from anything that would even gimme stress. So, I switched to Red-Cross match past and novel-reading SAED because there is a part of scripture that says FARABURUKUBALE. ( My friend, calm down) Abi, I lie?
Shebi, me, I gave myself brain.

That’s how one girl that thinks that if you join march-past, they will post you to DGs office in AbujaπŸ˜’.
According to her friends, she was already sick and they advised her to sit out the parade for the final day of camp.
You know when they are following you from your village, you can never hear come, iss only go.

The parade had not even gone far when my sister started vibrating like Nokia 3310. In a minute or less, she was on the ground.
Right, in the middle of parade that Governor’s representative is around with the Oba of Ijebu -remo something something.
The painful part of all this was, red cross was called to carry her out of the line formation and the parade continued, almost as if, nobody just fell down.
Ahhh!!!!! and that’s what this one wants to die for Nigeria ontop?😭😭
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Say to yourself, I can not come and go and kill myself for anything or anybody.

NYSC is the Greatest Scam!

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Corpers Wee oo! Waaa oo !

Corpers wee wee! Waa waa!

Good morning to you this Morning πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

Ohhh for the Joy of our Fatherland.πŸ˜’

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Heaven knows if it was in my power, the idea of NYSC will be long forgotten because for me, It is a pure waste of time and a derogation on any individuals personality.

Especially 21st Century individuals like youπŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

There’s a long story that I can’t tell today about the genesis of my NYSC. But we are here already!

β€Ž21 days ! Gone so fast !

Whoooosh wawuΓΉuuu yaaaasssss yelz please..

Never again will I be seen in white and white; except its my wedding dress, that’s the only exception.

I was posted to serve my sister- father land; Ogun state, and as you would expect, I have lots of camp stories to share as a way of appeasing the gods for travelling offline without due notice.( even though, you should have figured with the subtle clues I leftπŸ€”)
Anyways, I will do my best to relive these experiences and convince you to not SERVE ANY FATHER OR SISTER LAND.

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WHITE FOWLS
The first few minutes I arrived my beautiful 5-star orientation camp was all the glory-time I had to resemble human being, I didn’t know that the minute I heartily jumped into my white vest, white shorts, white socks and white rubber footwear, I ceased being CHRISTY OJO, I was now and henceforth going to be known as WHITE FOWL. To be sincere, we all looked like sheeps before the slaughterπŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

THE BIGGLE
There were a million things I detested at our orientation camp; top on the list was the Biggle. 😑
For the love of God, when it is not as if I cannot wake up on my own.
One middle-aged man will just be walking upandan blowing biggle like there is no tomorrow.

In the early-morning blow, mid-morning blow, late-morning blow, afternoon blow, evening blow, to go and do by force social night or welcome party – Blow 😲.
Warrizit???

NYSC says Nigeria wakes up by 6am and goes to sleep by 6pm, while we the Nigerians will have woken up by 3:30am and won’t sleep till almost 11pm. πŸ˜’
Please, epp me ask NYSC, who is the Nigeria that is going to sleep?

Even more disheartening, once the baba blows the biggle, those soldier women assigned to female hostel will be blowing whistle like they are calling their dog to come and eat bone. 😀 they wee now be saying you should frog jump if you come out late.
One of such days, my church mind was saying babe, let’s go.
One mind from my village was now saying just hide under the bed or pretend to be sick.
Thank God for salvation ooo.
If I had listened to the devil that day, I would have washed toiletπŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

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UNDER THE SUN OR IN THE RAIN
This is the 3rd line of the NYSC anthem and also a part of the oath of allegiance in the swearing-in pledge.
Once you learn to sing it at the morning meditation, you have signed a life-warrant with NYSC that whether the sun is blistering the middle of your head or the rain is about to carry you away, provided you are on the parade ground; you will stand and not run away. πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚
I didn’t believe they would take it seriously until the day we had the inter-platoon match parade. My brothers and sisters, they stood under the rain from start to finish, notice I said they because I ran to the clinic (this is the only place where heaven is real. Once you are in the clinic, you have immunity against all vices of parades and man-o-war drillsπŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚)

CAMP BOYFRIEND

This one was an unrealized plan and till right now, I still wonder if it is because I was quick to call everyone sweetheart or bestie and find one excuse or the other to not want to spread myself inside the cold after spreading myself under the sun, or the fact that I was named the Jega of my platoon or because when one white-fowl “mistakenly” asked me to shut up when he was talking to me in front of plenty people, I schooled him on the reasons telling a lady to shut up might be one of the quickest ways to heaven. (NO, I dinnor beat anybody, I just spoke my truth)
I really don’t know why I never had a camp boyfriend.
I asked my roommates how they were doing it and I realized it was a tiring-smile-draining-follow-follow-experiment. All of which, I had no time for.

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That will be all for today folks.

Now, obviously, you know, I have a truck load of camp stories, experiences and lessons to share. But I can’t exactly tell every single detail that I encountered because some of them are better left forgotten.

So, in order for me to best entertain you and guide you on WHAT NOT TO DO, I would like you to ask questions in the comment section and from there we will have an archive of content to discuss every week going forward.

What do you say ?
πŸ’ƒπŸ’ƒπŸ’ƒπŸ’ƒπŸ’ƒπŸ’ƒ

#tales of a 5-Star Corper.

NEW HABITS: 9+1 Things I am Cutting Off Completely in the Second Quarter.

Is it just me, or has this year started to fly unnecessarily?

What is remaining for December to come again gan naa sef? πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

It’s been an intentional year for me already and I have taken up new things; thoughts, mindset, perspectives. This is what led to this post as I have garnered enough liver to write down a few things that I am letting go starting right now.

1. Playing with my health

No more! Nada! Nope! I am not even doing again. My skin, my stomach, my face, my body, my health – Y’all are getting 5- star attention henceforth.

The other day, I went to greet doctor because of certificate, the man now asked me question;

Sister, what is on your mind?

Sir, which mind? Mine? Nothing ooo.

He now said; you need to take things easy oo.

Ahhh! That’s that end.

I am not even going to let anybody get into my headspace, no more stressing myself oo biko.Β  It is Alaye (alive person) that will be looking for trouble upandan. Please remind me to book that spa visit one day oo.

Anybody know a pocket friendly spa I can start with?

2. Spending My Money on Everybody else but Myself.

My money – babes!!πŸ€‘πŸ€‘

I buy stuff, don’t get me wrong , but I don’t BUY stuff; the kind of stuff that you can look at and say YES! you deserve it.

I am not going to allow the price tag scare me away any more. If it means one quality investment per month so be it. I am starting this train and nothing is stopping it.

3. Not paying attention to My hair

Phewww!!! 😩😩

For the love of all things beautiful, Christy Of God. Let’s rock this beauty to a whole new level of badassery. β€ŽI know it is not as long as all these mammy water own, but let’s still find creative ways to take care of it.

4. Caring About What Other People Will Say !No comment

If I had a dollar for every time I considered this phrase –Β  “what will this person say, what will that person say -” I would have taken two trips to Dubai and the Bahamas.
Sadly, I always let it happen.
After careful deliberation, I have identified the people whose words matter to me. Going forward, I am not sorry to every and anyone whose opinion no longer counts. You cannot be building tent in my head for nothing.

5. β€ŽSaying I don’t know!

Raise your hands if I’ve said this in the middle of a conversation to you before. #sigh.
I really don’t like it but I end up saying it. After saying it, I will now start thinking of other things I could have said rather than IDK. πŸ˜’
Fam, I need your help on this one. How do I completely cut off the word from my vocabulary.

6. Assuming God gives Report-cards and does Prize-giving day.

Am I the only perosn who does this – Thinking God will bless me or be happy with me based on how morally sound I have been in the last few weeks?

Girlfriend,why ya lying!!!!!!!!

God doesn’t need you to “ACT” he doesn’t need you to put on a show or throw a few good days in the basket.

Nah B!

He needs you to live everyday knowing fully well that you will falter, but still gleaning on his mercy because that’s whats up.

7. Selling Myself Short.

No more. Never again.

I want to make this a point of duty to emphasize myself when I am doing introduction.

I am a super romantic and energetic young woman with a sense of humour that is peculiar to me and God. I am A ROCKSTAR. I do a lot of things together and I always do them with 100%attention. Some of these things don’t have job titles or descriptions yet.

E.g. I have been a comedian since childhood- take a look at my side eye game.

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Breaking News to all who cares to listen.

My name is Christiana Ojo Oluwayimika.

I am a Content creator, that means that I don’t just write articles or Blog post, practical interview questions, quick emails, letters or awesome IG captions( yes, it’s a thing), I also develop ways to build engagement and brand imagery.

I am an IDEATOR

(I plan, imagine, visualize and birth new ideas) I have amazing friends that are business tycoons in the making and I bless them with ideas whenever wherever because that’s who God made me; a helper, an Idea-bank. And I do it without reserve.

If you need someone to give fresh perspective to your business or to give a killer idea to your current line of work. Well you have the comment section and my email address.

I am an administrator, I am pretty good at talking to every and anyone ( this includes negotiating quotations and carrying my market to sell wherever leg fit reachπŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚.

I would rather give a presentation than write an exam. Don’t take my word for it, try me. I am the most fun addition to any group you could ever have.

I have been privileged to serve with different people and every time. I have been blessed to put on many hats and I always delivered with a “FULL DOSE OF CHRISTY” (Want to know what that means – hire me to work with you, you’ll see. πŸ˜‰

8. Procrastination / Laziness /Lack of Follow through.

This has got to be the one comma on my profile that makes me “TIRED”.
I start something with such excitement and anticipation. A few weeks or months into it; I lose interest, I lose any passion to continue.
I recently took a test and I realized the reason behind my indomie-patience level is because I am a dreamer.Β  This means I don’t have the continuity to see it through for a long time. This is where I need builders, cultivators; they are the ones that will do the follow-through, follow-up, continuity. They are the ones that help with actualizing and implementation.

I only have the birthing strength.

9. Doing eyi je eyi o je.

I apologize to non- Yoruba speakers, in fact, no apology, it is simple Yorubanglish.

It means doing (eenie meeni minnie moo)

That one is self explanatory. I am stopping it asap.

+1 Being overserious in this life.

Overseriousness is a bad thing

No more doing my face like Franklin or someone else that came in the 16th century. It is time to LIVE! This word is a revelation to me, me alone. I realized that I have a personality that doesn’t correlate with my outward appearance, expression, composure, my style.

This is the kind of LIVING I want to be doing by the way. This woman right here is my inspiration😍. This is what BADASSERY looks like.

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So, my Darling Sugar Plum!

What do you plan to cut off totally this coming quarter, let’s get on this accountability and self-discipline train together.

“Dear Younger Me” +7 Life Lessons from Older Me.

Lessons from My older self

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Don’t sit too long in the fire, you’re a radical diamond.

If it were possible to rewrite the last decade and right some of my wrongs or short comings, I would. But, I can’t, because it’s all in the past now.

To a younger ME; coming in another generation or another life, I thought I’d share a little from what life has taught me in the past 2 decades. I hope it helps.

Continue reading ““Dear Younger Me” +7 Life Lessons from Older Me.”